The Relationship Between Self-Compassion & Procrastination

Putting something off can trigger a downward negative spiral. But a recent study suggests that being kind to yourself can help you achieve your goals.

Why do we procrastinate?

Often because we fear failing at the task and dread all the negative self-evaluations that might result from that failure. Unconsciously, feeling okay about one’s self becomes more important than achieving the goal.

But the procrastination, of course, triggers other negative feelings about ourselves—recriminations and ruminations for “failing” to take action.

In 20 years of providing psychotherapy, I’ve witnessed so many times how paralysis in the face of a task or problem can lead to escalating levels of self-criticism and self-depreciation, a self-perpetuating downward negative spiral.

Most procrastination-fighting techniques focus on ways to change a person’s behavior: just get started, take action, any kind of action. But a recent study suggests a different approach: being kind to yourself.

Low self-compassion, high stress

Fuschia M. Sirois of Bishop’s University in Canada examined whether self-compassion—kindness and understanding toward one’s self in response to pain or failure—could be related to procrastination and the stress and suffering that procrastination causes.

The study, recently published in Self and Identity, asked more than 750 participants to complete a questionnaire measuring levels of self-compassion and its components: extending kindness toward oneself in response to a mistake rather than judging oneself harshly, recognizing that one shares the struggles with procrastination with many other people rather than feeling isolated or the only one, seeing clearly the big picture about one’s predicament rather than over-identifying with negative self-evaluations. The participants also reported their levels of procrastination and stress.

Sirois found that people prone to procrastination had lower levels of self-compassion and higher levels of stress. Further analysis revealed that procrastination might increase levels of stress—particularly among people low in self-compassion.